It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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