Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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