Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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