just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
