yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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