This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Randomize
