yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
