She's JV to your varsity
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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