i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
