I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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