I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
