I'm gonna have a badass scar
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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