I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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