Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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