if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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