I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Boobs are out for the taking
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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