your parents love me but you hate me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
