i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need water and some morals
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
