Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
