Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
