I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
