did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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