Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
