I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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