Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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