His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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