Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
