Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
