Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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