If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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