Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
