Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
