He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
