Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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