There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
