We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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