bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
