giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
