Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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