in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
