Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
