So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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