I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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