last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
