The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
