we're blogging at a bar
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
