i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish you could order shots online.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
