It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize