i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
