Fine. I'll sleep in my office
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
